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Hi, my name is Chunky Boil and I am posting this web page to tell you a little bit about myself. I am an engineer for this computer networking company and by far the best one there. I should know because I can get away with anything and they don't do a damn thing about it. I mean, why else would I get away with murder? They're afraid that if they discipline me that I'll quit and then they'll really be screwed. There is another engineer there that thinks he is as good as my 23-year-old ass but he's nothing compared to me. Just because he has a college degree and about 5 more certifications than I do, everyone thinks he knows what he's talking about. And even though he has about 8 years of knowledge on me, I know I'm the best. The only other person in the company that appreciates my greatness is my trusty sidekick Derrick Reynolds. He has his nose so far up my ass he can taste what I had for lunch. And if I could just take this time to give you a little stock tip, I would invest in Budweiser if I were you. Derrick single-handedly supports Budweiser and their horses! Anyway, back to me....Yes because of my greatness people would be stupid to mess with me. Just for an example, if someone were to break into my house and steal something I could easily replace it. You see, I have serialized. EVERY last thing in my house! That's right all the way down to the light switches. Now I know what you're thinking, "he has no life". But let me assure you I am always thinking of ways to stay one step ahead of everyone. I get in my trusty old Firebird, listen to my Knight Rider tape (you see I taped every TV episode then put them on audiocassette. Don't tell anyone but I have a thing for David Hasselhoff) and I just go into tech mode thinking up some excuse to buy yet another useful toy to buy. I would buy more useful stuff but the 80k that my company pays me now is not enough. I don't get it, no one likes me or trusts me at my company. Not one person there, other that Derrick, gives me any respect. They all say "you need to give it to get it"! I don't know what all those fucking ass holes are talking about!!! Just because I go through confidential employee files to make sure I make more than everyone else that makes me untrustworthy? Please let me know your thoughts on this subject....…
Well I have to go now my Snickers bar and Diet Pepsi (only DIET) are getting warm, plus I have some intense Pac Man to play. Fuck all of you and have a bad day.
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